February goal NOT reached. I am upset, ashamed, frustrated and tired. And a part of me is saying ‘well, you tried, now at least you can eat what you want!’.
But NO. I am not going to give up. Failure is a very important part of life. If I learn to stand up after falling, I will learn to walk. If I learn to keep up with my goal, I will reach it, and most importantly, I will learn a lifestyle, that will permanently be part of me.
I accept my failure, I look at in the eyes, I thank it. I am not giving up. I will keep trying. I will make it.
What happened in February
1st February — 81.0 kg
1st week — 80.5 kg
2nd week — 79.9 kg
3rd week — 82.0 kg
4th week — 81.4kg
29th February 2020 — 81.0kg.
Total weight dropped 0.0 kg
During the first week, I managed to be good and eat as slowly as possible. This helped to drop a few grams but most of all, it helped with happiness. As the new habit to build was ‘eating slowly’, I have put in place measures like candles and nice music, talk to people, admire the plate, enjoy the flavour… you can imagine how relaxed and lovely was the lunch break in the office and the dinners at home!
The second week was also positive, even if I needed an extra effort to remind myself about chewing rhythms and to slow down. I have noticed that stress is one of the major factors impacting my will power and this week I started visualising it and be more aware of it.
The third week I went skiing! That per se could have helped me, as skiing is a very active sport and (in theory) one should be all day moving with little time for eating. This if you are not in France. Particularly if you are not in the beautiful Pyrenees village of Font Romeu. and even more, if you are there with kids and grandparents. Who can be in France and resist the cheese? Shall I mention the bread? The ‘foie gras‘? Even the butter is something else, in France!
It was essential for me, being on holiday, in France and being a food lover, to be able to enjoy it. What I tried to do this year, as opposed to my usual gorging, was to eat slowly. And by eating slowly I managed to feel more satisfied and to eat less (than last year). The other measure I have put in place was to define a (generous) portion and stick to it. That gave me a sense of safety and fulfilment and gave me the comfort that I was actually eating enough. It also helped me rationing the food, portioning it, eating it in small bites, so it could last longer. These measures helped me reducing the amount of food ingested by controlling myself, as otherwise, I’d have eaten excessively, racing to get as much as possible, in fear that my table companions would get it before me.
I must be kind to myself. I understand that is not easy to learn to not be greedy. I accept that the week in France went in the way of my project. But I also acknowledge my efforts in creating the ’emergency procedures’ and that without them, the result would have been much worst.
The fourth week, after a week of excesses, recharged by the beauty of the mountains, I put myself back in track and did my best to catch up. In the end, I stayed at the initial weight, that is not bad at all. Well done Pam, keep going!